Say What?

- I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

- I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

- If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

- A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.

- Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.